Soccer v.s Football
I hate it when I say "soccer" in a sentence, and then people say:
It grinds my gears. Okay, I get it. You speak British English. Not that I have anything against British English! British English is supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
I also don't have any problems with American English either, and I even use words from both "languages". I say:
Anyways, back to "soccer". Although I get internally mad because someone says that I should use "football", I actually pity them.
Why? Imagine that you are talking to a new-found friend. Those of you who don't have friends, go talk to some pool of water. Since our bodies are 60% water, that means a pool of water is close enough to a human friend.
(Those of you who don't have friends, and don't have any water around you, how do you have internet?)
Ok, when talking to a friend, there is a chance that "soccer" might come up.
You never know! Phrases like, "Pass me the salt", "Watch out for that post!" or even "Clean up your messy room!" are said more often than you think.
And with that, you come to the decisive moment.
"Soccer" or "Football"?
Well, let's say you use "soccer". There is a 50-50 chance that your new-found friend is either pro American English or British English.
American English Speaker:
British English Speaker:
But let's see what happens if you use "football".
British English Speaker:
American English Speaker:
You see? If you use "football" all the time, there is a chance that you won't understand a thing that follows. And then you'll be stuck in that loop, talking about something that you don't know. Especially if that person is talkative.
That is why I use "soccer". Although there is a chance I might receive some really tiny criticism, at least I have a 100% probability to continue with "soccer" and nothing else.
Unless you're talking with water of course. Their minds are too small to understand what you are saying. At least they will always smile back.
It grinds my gears. Okay, I get it. You speak British English. Not that I have anything against British English! British English is supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
I also don't have any problems with American English either, and I even use words from both "languages". I say:
Anyways, back to "soccer". Although I get internally mad because someone says that I should use "football", I actually pity them.
Why? Imagine that you are talking to a new-found friend. Those of you who don't have friends, go talk to some pool of water. Since our bodies are 60% water, that means a pool of water is close enough to a human friend.
(Those of you who don't have friends, and don't have any water around you, how do you have internet?)
 |
| 'ey bruh! |
Ok, when talking to a friend, there is a chance that "soccer" might come up.
You never know! Phrases like, "Pass me the salt", "Watch out for that post!" or even "Clean up your messy room!" are said more often than you think.
And with that, you come to the decisive moment.
"Soccer" or "Football"?
Well, let's say you use "soccer". There is a 50-50 chance that your new-found friend is either pro American English or British English.
American English Speaker:
 |
| Soccer is awesome! |
British English Speaker:
|
| "Ah, you mean football. Alright." |
But let's see what happens if you use "football".
British English Speaker:
|
| Football is awesome! |
 |
| Uh... Quarterback? I don't really know that position. |
You see? If you use "football" all the time, there is a chance that you won't understand a thing that follows. And then you'll be stuck in that loop, talking about something that you don't know. Especially if that person is talkative.
 |
| I'm screwed |
That is why I use "soccer". Although there is a chance I might receive some really tiny criticism, at least I have a 100% probability to continue with "soccer" and nothing else.
Unless you're talking with water of course. Their minds are too small to understand what you are saying. At least they will always smile back.
|
| 'ey bruh! |
Comments
Post a Comment